


Welcome to Tech Support

by inukag123



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Phone Calls, language warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4078027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inukag123/pseuds/inukag123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A phone conversation of desperation to save the unrescuable from the blue-screen of death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Tech Support

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, Tumblr is to blame.

_'Hello, this is_ ComputersCo _Tech Support, my name is Kagome. What seems to be the problem?'_

_'Yeah. Hello. Listen, I've been on hold for the last fifteen minutes and I swear to fucking Christ that if this doesn't get fixed I'm going to firebomb one of your stores.'_

_'...Well then, tell me about the problem.'_

_'My computer's just fucking blue-screened, and I have to do a fucking presentation in under an hour that's gonna cost me my fucking job if I can't do it.'_

_'I can understand your stress then. Tell me, what's the model of your computer?'_

_'.............How do I do that?'_

_'.....Is it a desktop computer, a laptop or a tablet?'_

_'Laptop. Duh. You expect me to fucking haul a fucking big-ass computer into the presentation room?'_

_'........Alright then. Have you got any sort of stickers that came with the laptop around the keypad? With the brand on or anything?'_

_'What? Uh, no,'_

_'Very well, is your laptop plugged into anything at present, for example is it charging or hooked into any projectors of any kind?'_

_'Nah. Fucking thing's on 97%, I saw while I was going over the slides. Not that it'll do me any good now....'_

_'Chin up, I'll see what we can do.-'_

_'Don't tell me to fucking "chin up", what are you, my grade school teacher?'_

_'It's just a figure of speech,_ sir _. Without shutting it, can you turn the laptop over and see if you can find the model written on the underside?'_

_'Hang on,'_ *sounds of a computer being picked up, then a moment of quiet,* _'There's a long-ass string of numbers, something that looks like a barcode..... Wait, it says HS Tx014, does that help?'_

_'That was Tx014? Not a problem, I'm just looking up your machine now.'_

_'Wait a minute, are you going to hack my computer or something? That's an invasion of fucking privacy,-'_

_'No sir, I'm looking up the model so that I can diagnose more accurately. By the way, you can put the laptop down again.'_

*slight clattering of a laptop being put down again hurriedly* _'I'll bet you're not even in the same country as me. What are these charging rates? International's a bitch,'_

_'Sir with_ ComputersCo _customers calling into support are normally directed to their nearest branch, where the poor-I mean, the staff are equipped to handle it.'_

_'But the number's about six numbers long, doesn't that automatically mean I'm calling halfway around the world?'_

_'No sir, it just means that there's a computer system present redirecting calls according to their relevant requirements. It's why you had to "select 3 for support".'_

_'Huh. Fine. Whatever. Just get this thing working again or it's my ass on the line. And stop calling me "sir" with every fucking sentence it makes you sound like a kiss-ass.'_

_'It's called professionalism, -Sir-, I -especially- like to include it when I'm asking for help.'_

_'..........You found that instruction sheet yet or what? Kiyoko was it?'_

_'Kagome. And yes, I have it pulled up in front of me.-'_

_'Well why didn't you fucking say so?-'_

_'Pressing onward, what were you doing when it blue-screened?'_

_'Uh, er, going over my slides, like I said?'_

_'There's no need to lie, sir.'_

_'It's InuYasha. Not fucking "sir".'_

_'.....Let me ask you again, InuYasha, what were you doing when it blue-screened? And I'm telling you now that if you keep up with this language then I'm going to disconnect your call, and you'll have to go on hold again for a good long while, while your job goes up in smoke.'_

_'Fucking bitch, blackmail-'_

_'DO YOU WANT YOUR COMPUTER FIXED OR NOT.'_

_'....yes, miss.'_

_'Exactly. What were you doing when it blue-screened?'_

_'I might've been cruising YouTube. You ever heard of those "honest trailers" guys? Fucking hilarious, I thought I was gonna piss myself, miss.'_

_'I've heard of them. What does your bluescreen say?'_

_'What, do I read the whole thing, miss?'_

_'Alright, alright, "sir" and "miss" sounds patronizing, but I can hardly call people anything else. And no, just the last few lines.'_

_'Well there's a giant fucking unhappy face like fucking "Oops, something went fucking wrong but it's not my fucking fault", and then "Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart, 100% complete"._

_'Have you tried turning it off and on again?'_

_'Don't fucking get like that, I've seen the IT crowd too. You sure it's not going to affect my slides?'_

_'I can't guarantee anything, InuYasha, but the only way to progress is to move forward.'_

*sounds of computer powering down, a long pause, then sounds of a computer powering up again* _'It's forty minutes to my presentation, this'd better fucking work, I don't have time for this bullshit.'_

_'Yet you have time to watch King Justin Beiber. Go figure.'_

_'......shut up. Alright the log-in screen's just come up, I'm just gonna chuck in the creds,'_ *sounds of typing* _'There.'_ *Login sound plays-* _'Shitfuck, it's blue screened again. Fucking shit. Listen I don't care what happens to the computer I need those fucking slides, Kagome.'_

*sounds of typing* _'I'll see what I can do.'_

_'You do that.'_

_'What did I say about getting snarky?'_

_'Right, sorry.'_

_'.....Now, this is going to sounds like a really dumb question, but have you got anything at all plugged into your laptop, like keyboards, or mice, or external hard drives...?'_

_'None of those. How fucking stupid do you think I am?'_

_'Language, InuYasha. Out of curiosity, what's your presentation for?'_

_'I'm presenting a proposal for a new building downtown. You know that big-a-I mean, the old library extension, corner of Main Street and East Terrace that collapsed in on itself?'_

_'Yeah, it's just across from_ ComputersCo _. I saw the whole thing from my window, I caught the whole thing on a webcam.'_

_'Really? Damn, you gotta email me a copy. That'd be epic, the best part of being in civil architecture is watching the old buildings go down.'_

*Stifled laugh* _'I can imagine. Listen, do you have any sort of cloud backup like iCloud or something?'_

_'I have Google Drive but it hadn't had the chance to sync yet. I'd just saved my slides, cracked open YouTube and watched a few videos before it died on me.'_ *sounds of muffled voice in background* _'Hey fuck off, asshat, I'm tryna get my laptop fixed. Just because your proposal fell through,'_

_'It's good to hear you're so familiar with your colleagues.'_

_'He deserved it, asshole's been a right prick, he was so sure he was going to get through, but considering his twelve-story building had a rounded top, two twin-story mounds for the lobby/reception area and trees around the front? He really thought he was going to get through with that?'_

_'............I see what you mean. Did he demand -compensation-?'_

*snort, followed by quiet laughter* _'You have no idea. You should'a seen his face when I suggested a fountain on top,'_

*chuckling* _'I'd imagine he was sort of irritated.'_

_'Nope, he thought it was a fantastic idea. I actually had to convince him I was joking and to not do it.'_

*more laughter, before sobering* _'So about your computer,'_

_'Let me guess, it's screwed. I knew it. Thanks for the help anyway. You guys hiring, by the way?'_

_'Oh don't be a drama queen. Have you got any other computers around you that you have access to?'_

_'Uh, why?'_

_'Even if it means borrowing penis-building-guy's.'_

_'Shit, no. Wait-shit. he's the only one here. Shit. Shit. Shit.'_

_'Come on, it's a small price to pay for your job.'_

*muffled, as if further away from phone.* _'Oi, Dick-Building. Let me borrow your computer.'_ *muffled voice of indignation* *closer to phone again, addressing the other line* _'Are you sure about this?'_

_'Absolutely. Just trust me.'_

*further away again* _'Seriously man, I need your computer. Just this one time.'_ *muffled voice of arrogance continues* _'Look I'm only going to say this once in your whole shitty life but my presentation's in half an hour and my computer's just died. So please, let me borrow your shitty-ass laptop...fine, your completely-normal-ass laptop.'_ *shocked pause, then muffled voice of relent* *louder voice again, addressing the other line* _'Hang on, he's just getting his craptastic-I mean, fantastic laptop. I hope you appreciate what I do for you, woman.'_

_'Think of it this way, you're helping me help yourself. It's going to be fine.'_

_'My ass it's fine. This,'_

_'I can hardly tell what your ass is like through a phone, but duly noted.'_

*muffled spluttering* _'I, you, hmph. He's coming back. Ass discussion can wait.'_ *muffled rummaging noises appear in background, before a muted few words, before the sounds of a computer powering on* _'Right. It's just loading.'_ *muffled and away again _* 'Yo why don't you use a password? Don't be surprised if your background's changed to tiled asses when you get it back,'_ *returned again* _'Loaded. What next?'_

_'Pull up a web browser.'_

*tapping noises* _'Pfft. Idiot's got Internet Explorer. Bullshit I'm using that.'_

_'Whatever, just open it. Pull up Google, and your Google Drive account.'_

_'I'm telling you, it didn't sync! Kagome, what are you trying to do to me!?'_

_'Save your ass, buster. Now do it.'_

*typing noises, muttered grumbling* _'Alright, here it is.'_

_'Open it.'_

_'What!? Weren't you listening this whole time?'_

_'Do it or I swear I'll climb down this phone line and- draw giant dicks all over your proposal schematics.'_

_'I got it, I got-wait, it's all here! Even the stuff I was working on this morning! Jesus Christ, what did you do?'_

_'Just Kagome is fine. You do realise that stuff like that automatically saves every few minutes, right? And that it will auto-sync every few more minutes or so?'_

_'Oh my god, it's all here!'_

_'Like I said, just Kagome's fine.'_

_'I could kiss you!-I mean,'_

_'You could buy me coffee as a bonus, is what you meant?'_

_'Y-yeah. That's what I meant. Absolutely. None of that Starbucks bullshit either. How does that new fancy-ass coffee place on East sound, on Friday?'_

_'Sounds great. And for your presentation, good luck!'_

_'Bring it on!'_

*click*

 


End file.
